Brad,
This publicity stunt is getting a bit stale. Yes, the adoption scheme has been swimming along nicely (good call on the child actors, no kid could truly emulate a Jolie-Pitt) and the press salivates at the sight of you two, but now Angie's having twins? Babe, I let the first pregnancy slip, but I'm not certain I can stand for this. I thought we had a plan; you'd ride this wave, keep the paparazzi nipping at your heels, ring in mountains of coin, and then we'd hole up in Tahiti or Sun Valley before your "weathered" look turns weak.
Fuck it, Damon and I are going back to Venice without you.
--Clooney
ps I will always love you
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